BROKEN AND BLESSED

Last night I found a piece of paper in one my notebooks with a couple paragraphs highlighted. I think it was part of someone's sacrament meeting talk that I asked if I could have a copy of this summer. I read them last night, this morning, and again in sacrament meeting. It made me think a lot about symbolism in the administration of the sacrament and also about the purpose of life. I wish I knew who had given these words to me so I could thank them for them. I believe them. The pathway of discipleship has always been one of first being broken and then being blessed and strengthened through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is about realizing our weaknesses, depending on the Savior, asking for and receiving His help, and then blessing the lives of those around us. As Christ gave his body for all mankind, we too must consecrate our lives in serving those around us. How blessed we are to be able to partake of the sacrament each week, renew our covenants, and partake of that power. 

The purpose of the Fall of Adam and Eve, the purpose of our weakened mortal condition is to humble us, to cause us to recognize that there is something beyond our earthly capabilities that we must obtain, a power source we must access if we ever hope to be saved from our fallen condition. This power is the grace of God. This power is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This power however, does not flow seamlessly into us regardless of our personal accountability.

Throughout the scriptures, Christ always spoke by way of invitation, "Come follow me." In this, the dispensation of the fullness of times we have the privilege of coming and following Christ by covenant. Each week as we partake of the sacrament, we promise to take Christ's name upon us and in doing so, we gain access to the full power of His atoning sacrifice.

The sacrament, as instituted by Christ, was not only an example of his own life, but an illustration of the purpose of our lives as well. Just as he took the bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it away, he was teaching his apostles what it mean to live a spiritual life.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, a Catholic priest, wrote, "At some point, a religious soul must find himself taken by God, he must feel that God has claimed him as his own. Then, he must be blessed and broken [or in the order of the Sacrament today - broken and blessed]. He must have his pride broken down, his appetites, his selfishness, everything that hampers spiritual growth. This can take some time. I think this is where the commandments come in. Fasting and chastity break down our natural desires. Tithing breaks down our attachment to money. Submission to authority breaks down our lust for power. And service breaks our quest for glory. The world must eventually be abandoned. Once we've been taken and broken - like the bread - we are blessed - blessed with new hearts. And then, like the bread, we are to be given away. We must go out and find others and bless their lives as well."

Broken and blessed, this is the whole sum of our life's purpose. To break down the natural man within us and then let humility drive us to service. As we do so we are blessed, we are sanctified, we are born again.

"And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart our of your flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 11:19) 

QUESTIONS OF THE SOUL

Lately I have been very grateful for the Book of Mormon. As I've been stressed about school work or thinking about the future and how I want my life to go, I've turned to the Book of Mormon to give me direction and understanding. More than explaining eternal truths and doctrine, the book also brings the Spirit into my life to lift my spirit, energize my soul, and give me courage to face another day. The Book of Mormon was written for our day - for us to read and apply to our lives. This past week I've made a list of questions of the soul that the Book of Mormon answers.

How can I come to know Christ?     Mosiah 5:13
What will happen when I die?     Alma 40
Why must I be born again?     Mosiah 27:24-29
Why am I given weaknesses?     Jacob 4:7
Why do bad things happen?    2 Nephi 2:11
How do I make it through trials?    Mosiah 7:33
How can I know if I have been forgiven?    Alma 36:18-21
What can I do if I have faith in Christ?     1 Nephi 7:12
How is salvation possible?     Mosiah 3:17
How do I overcome the natural man?     Mosiah 3:19
How should I be baptized?     3 Nephi 11:21-26
How is it possible for me to be healed by Christ?     3 Nephi 17:7-9
How do I stand guiltless before God in the last day?     3 Nephi 27:16
What should I pray for?     Alma 34:17-27
What is the purpose of my life?     Alma 34:32
What is most desirable above all other things?     1 Nephi 11:22
What if there were no Christ?     1 Nephi 10:4-6
What happens when people put their hearts on riches?     Helaman 6:17
How do the Bible and the Book of Mormon work together?   Mormon 7:8-9
How can I know the truth?    Moroni 10:5
What happens if I have true charity for my fellowmen?    Moroni 7:45-48
Why do we have trials?     Helaman 12:3

STREETS I KNEW SO WELL

Sometimes as I sleep, I walk
once again down Cherokee Street
past Nebraska, California, and on towards Jefferson. 
I loved this time of year:
the trees perfectly reddened to match the buildings.
I smell fresh tamales and Mexican laundry detergent
and feel warm beneath layers of sweaters. 
So many faces pass me I talked to and grew to love.
I bike down Gravois passing Grand and Compton.
Crumbling redgraybrownbrick duplexes where city buses pass
taking people places.
People from so many places once foreign to me.
Others sit on their porches and stair
near Utah by Compton and Juniata -
waiting, conversing, as if nothing else mattered but
a somnolent sidewalk of cement.
I pass more apartment buildings covered in satellites dishes,
people far from their family
trying to connect to something that reminds them of home.
This place has become my home
I realize, as I drive through forest park on Clayton,
and think about how the past two years have gone so fast.
My first day in the field was in March.
My trainer and I on bikes, the barbecues, bright green grass,
down Paris, Rogers, and Wilkes.
Feeling so young and so white,
soon to be lost in so many colors.
Learning to be patient, to have faith, to believe,
and to talk to everyone I could.
I think about the doorsteps I cried on saying good-bye
Keokuk between Gustine and Barnberger.
And about the enpanadas, pupusas, hand pressed tortillas and jamaica.
The arch and all it meant to me. 
Watson, Chippewa, Arsenal,
Manchester and Kingshighway.

ELDER RICHARD G. SCOTT - THE POWER OF SCRIPTURE

"Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ.

The scriptures provide the strength of authority to our declarations when they are cited correctly. They can become stalwart friends that are not limited by geography or calendar. They are always available when needed. Their use provides a foundation of truth that can be awakened by the Holy Ghost. Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world.

Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change. "

-Elder Richard G. Scott. "The Power of Scripture." October 2011 General Conference. 

FAVORITE QUOTES ABOUT THE TEMPLE

 "And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it. And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem." 

-Isaiah 2:2-3

"The temple was a place of learning for the Savior when He was on the earth; it was very much part of His life. Temple blessings are available once again in our day."  

-James E. Faust

"As we touch the temple and love the temple, our lives will reflect our faith. As we go to the holy house, as we remember the covenants we make therein, we will be able to bear every trial and overcome each temptation. The temple provides purpose for our lives. It brings peace to our souls - not the peace provided by men but the peace promised by the Son of God when He said, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

-Thomas S. Monson

“It [the temple] will refine your natures. It will peel off the selfish shell in which most of us live. It will literally bring a sanctifying element into our lives and make us better men and women…Here we can reflect on the great goodness of the Lord to us. Here we can reflect on the great plan of happiness which our Father has outlined for His children…do it while you still have the strength to do it."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

"Our ancestors, along with many other faithful Saints, sacrificed everything because of their testimonies and faith in Jesus Christ. They knew that the gospel had been restored to the earth once more and that they were led by a prophet of God. They knew that the Book of Mormon was true and understood its message and witness. They knew that through the restoration of priesthood keys, families could be sealed together for eternity through holy priesthood ordinances available only in a temple. They knew that temple work was the key to the salvation and exaltation of the human family. They knew the importance of this work, and they were willing to give all that they had in order to provide a house acceptable to the Lord wherein this holy work could be performed. They sacrificed everything so that past and future generations would have access to the 

eternal blessings of the temple."  

-Elaine S. Dalton

SONGS WITH REAL MEANING

"She said, 'no one is alone the way you are alone'
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last."

"But it's warmer where you're waiting.
It feels more like July.
There's pillows in their cases,
and one of those is mine.
And you wrote the words 'I love you',
and sprayed it with perfume.
It's better than the fire is
to heat this lonely room.
It's warmer where you're waiting
It feels more like July.
It feels more like July."

"I am fairly agile
I can bend and not break
Or I can break and take it with a smile
And I am so resilient
I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine." 

"Is there time?
Is there time to follow just one desire?
Is there time?
Is there time to follow your heart's?
Dress your wounds
Test your strength
Face the night
Crave the touch
Feel the pain
Know the signs
Is there truth in your pain?
You decide."

"And follow me south of the big docks
they teather the boats
the rich men revere
as so important
they hire our fathers to steer.
And down to the edge of the water
where we'll spill our guts
and we'll name our fears
I'll give you this picture
keep it and don't be scared."

"And the night can freeze, before you set it on fire.
And our flares go unnoticed.
Dimminished, faded just as soon as they are fired."

"Pouring over photographs.
I'm living in your letters.
Breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you and I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.
Hope has sprung a perfect dive
a perfect day, a perfect lie.
A slowly crafted monologue
conceding your defeat." 

"Tonight, they're burning the roads they built to lead us to the light.
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies,
while closing our caskets cold and tight. But I'm dying to live."

"I'm starting to panic
remember she asked you
remember to breathe
and everything will be okay."

"And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well."

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TRACKS

Out my bedroom window I can see just north of the railroad tracks.
Just past them a canyon, a trail.
I go down to Benton and over the bridge.
This afternoon I rode to take a break
and to be refreshed by the creek,
the quietness, the stability of the seasons. 
Leaves less colored than the last time:
higher up the trail they change from green to yellow to red.
The slender moon up in the sky.
Fallen leaves floating down
faster than the stream that carries them.
I didn't stop for water from my backpack.
Only reaching in my pocket to pull out my camera.
Life's better this way. 
My legs burn.
It's been too long since I got away.
Away from the books, the classroom, and the lab. 
The way down my bike tire bounces off rocks
that could send me into the bushes.
My elbows shaking, start to itch
from the vibration, the wind, the rush
of remembering what it feels like to be alive -
to be the one making my own tracks again.