BROKEN AND BLESSED

Last night I found a piece of paper in one my notebooks with a couple paragraphs highlighted. I think it was part of someone's sacrament meeting talk that I asked if I could have a copy of this summer. I read them last night, this morning, and again in sacrament meeting. It made me think a lot about symbolism in the administration of the sacrament and also about the purpose of life. I wish I knew who had given these words to me so I could thank them for them. I believe them. The pathway of discipleship has always been one of first being broken and then being blessed and strengthened through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is about realizing our weaknesses, depending on the Savior, asking for and receiving His help, and then blessing the lives of those around us. As Christ gave his body for all mankind, we too must consecrate our lives in serving those around us. How blessed we are to be able to partake of the sacrament each week, renew our covenants, and partake of that power. 

The purpose of the Fall of Adam and Eve, the purpose of our weakened mortal condition is to humble us, to cause us to recognize that there is something beyond our earthly capabilities that we must obtain, a power source we must access if we ever hope to be saved from our fallen condition. This power is the grace of God. This power is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This power however, does not flow seamlessly into us regardless of our personal accountability.

Throughout the scriptures, Christ always spoke by way of invitation, "Come follow me." In this, the dispensation of the fullness of times we have the privilege of coming and following Christ by covenant. Each week as we partake of the sacrament, we promise to take Christ's name upon us and in doing so, we gain access to the full power of His atoning sacrifice.

The sacrament, as instituted by Christ, was not only an example of his own life, but an illustration of the purpose of our lives as well. Just as he took the bread, blessed it, broke it, and gave it away, he was teaching his apostles what it mean to live a spiritual life.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, a Catholic priest, wrote, "At some point, a religious soul must find himself taken by God, he must feel that God has claimed him as his own. Then, he must be blessed and broken [or in the order of the Sacrament today - broken and blessed]. He must have his pride broken down, his appetites, his selfishness, everything that hampers spiritual growth. This can take some time. I think this is where the commandments come in. Fasting and chastity break down our natural desires. Tithing breaks down our attachment to money. Submission to authority breaks down our lust for power. And service breaks our quest for glory. The world must eventually be abandoned. Once we've been taken and broken - like the bread - we are blessed - blessed with new hearts. And then, like the bread, we are to be given away. We must go out and find others and bless their lives as well."

Broken and blessed, this is the whole sum of our life's purpose. To break down the natural man within us and then let humility drive us to service. As we do so we are blessed, we are sanctified, we are born again.

"And I will give them one heart and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart our of your flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 11:19) 

QUESTIONS OF THE SOUL

Lately I have been very grateful for the Book of Mormon. As I've been stressed about school work or thinking about the future and how I want my life to go, I've turned to the Book of Mormon to give me direction and understanding. More than explaining eternal truths and doctrine, the book also brings the Spirit into my life to lift my spirit, energize my soul, and give me courage to face another day. The Book of Mormon was written for our day - for us to read and apply to our lives. This past week I've made a list of questions of the soul that the Book of Mormon answers.

How can I come to know Christ?     Mosiah 5:13
What will happen when I die?     Alma 40
Why must I be born again?     Mosiah 27:24-29
Why am I given weaknesses?     Jacob 4:7
Why do bad things happen?    2 Nephi 2:11
How do I make it through trials?    Mosiah 7:33
How can I know if I have been forgiven?    Alma 36:18-21
What can I do if I have faith in Christ?     1 Nephi 7:12
How is salvation possible?     Mosiah 3:17
How do I overcome the natural man?     Mosiah 3:19
How should I be baptized?     3 Nephi 11:21-26
How is it possible for me to be healed by Christ?     3 Nephi 17:7-9
How do I stand guiltless before God in the last day?     3 Nephi 27:16
What should I pray for?     Alma 34:17-27
What is the purpose of my life?     Alma 34:32
What is most desirable above all other things?     1 Nephi 11:22
What if there were no Christ?     1 Nephi 10:4-6
What happens when people put their hearts on riches?     Helaman 6:17
How do the Bible and the Book of Mormon work together?   Mormon 7:8-9
How can I know the truth?    Moroni 10:5
What happens if I have true charity for my fellowmen?    Moroni 7:45-48
Why do we have trials?     Helaman 12:3

STREETS I KNEW SO WELL

Sometimes as I sleep, I walk
once again down Cherokee Street
past Nebraska, California, and on towards Jefferson. 
I loved this time of year:
the trees perfectly reddened to match the buildings.
I smell fresh tamales and Mexican laundry detergent
and feel warm beneath layers of sweaters. 
So many faces pass me I talked to and grew to love.
I bike down Gravois passing Grand and Compton.
Crumbling redgraybrownbrick duplexes where city buses pass
taking people places.
People from so many places once foreign to me.
Others sit on their porches and stair
near Utah by Compton and Juniata -
waiting, conversing, as if nothing else mattered but
a somnolent sidewalk of cement.
I pass more apartment buildings covered in satellites dishes,
people far from their family
trying to connect to something that reminds them of home.
This place has become my home
I realize, as I drive through forest park on Clayton,
and think about how the past two years have gone so fast.
My first day in the field was in March.
My trainer and I on bikes, the barbecues, bright green grass,
down Paris, Rogers, and Wilkes.
Feeling so young and so white,
soon to be lost in so many colors.
Learning to be patient, to have faith, to believe,
and to talk to everyone I could.
I think about the doorsteps I cried on saying good-bye
Keokuk between Gustine and Barnberger.
And about the enpanadas, pupusas, hand pressed tortillas and jamaica.
The arch and all it meant to me. 
Watson, Chippewa, Arsenal,
Manchester and Kingshighway.